The dangerous silence of menopause

I recently finished reading Amy Edmondson’s The Fearless Organization, and one chapter in particular really stuck with me: Dangerous Silence.

Edmondson (2019) explores what happens when people don’t feel psychologically safe enough to speak up at work. They stay quiet, hide mistakes and more often than not avoid asking for help. They protect themselves from judgement, even when speaking up would benefit everyone, sometimes at a life-saving level.

As I read, I couldn’t help but think about the research I’m currently doing and the framework I’m creating. This chapter underlines the very reason I started this work in the first place. 

The dangerous silence of the menopause transition. Not just in the workplace, but in our homes, our relationships, our friendships and within ourselves.

Because for many women, menopause isn’t simply a collection of physical symptoms. It can challenge your confidence, your identity, your emotions, your thinking and, at times, your belief in yourself.

You might still be showing up to work every day. Still leading meetings. Still caring for your family. Still smiling. But inside, you’re wondering why your brain doesn’t seem to work the way it used to. You’re questioning your competence. You’re feeling overwhelmed by emotions you don’t recognise. You’re exhausted from poor sleep. And so often you’re grieving the person you feel you’ve lost.

And yet… you say nothing. This is where we need to be focussing our attention. 

Why aren’t we prioritising psychological safety for women experiencing one of the most significant life transitions they’ll ever face?

If we know psychological safety helps people speak up, ask for help and perform at their best, why aren’t we making it a priority for women experiencing the menopause transition? - one of the most common yet least understood life transitions, affecting more than a billion women worldwide right now.

The reasons we stay silent 

Through both my research and my own experience of early menopause, I’ve come to understand why so many women feel unable to speak openly about what they’re going through.

Because you don’t know if it’s safe to speak.

For many women, silence isn’t a choice, it’s self-protection. Before saying a word, they’re instinctively assessing the risk. Will this conversation be met with understanding, or judgement? Will I be supported, or will it change how people see me? If the environment doesn’t feel psychologically safe, staying quiet often feels like the safer option, even when that silence comes at a personal cost.

Will people think you’re no longer capable?

Many women continue to perform at a high level while privately battling brain fog, memory lapses, chronic fatigue and emotional overwhelm. Asking for support can feel like admitting weakness, especially in workplaces where competence is closely tied to confidence and consistency. Rather than risk being perceived as less capable, many simply work harder, hide their struggles and hope nobody notices.

Will they question your judgement?

When your thinking feels different from what you’re used to, it can shake your own confidence. The fear isn’t just that you’ll make a mistake, it’s that others will begin to doubt your decisions, your expertise or your leadership. For women in positions of responsibility, that fear can be enough to keep them silent, even when they desperately need understanding.

Will they see you differently?

Menopause can challenge a woman’s sense of identity long before anyone else notices a change. The thought of colleagues seeing her as “older”, “emotional”, “fragile” or somehow different can feel deeply uncomfortable. No one wants to be defined by a stage of life rather than by their experience, skills and contribution.

Will your career suffer?

Many women worry that speaking openly could quietly influence promotion decisions, future opportunities or perceptions of their ambition. Even if nobody explicitly says so, the fear that menopause might become part of their professional identity instead of simply one aspect of their health can be enough to stop the conversation before it even begins.

Will they simply dismiss it as “just hormones”?

Perhaps one of the most painful experiences is not being taken seriously. Menopause is still too often reduced to hot flushes, mood swings or just getting older. When complex emotional, cognitive and psychological experiences are brushed aside as “just hormones”, women can feel unseen, invalidated and reluctant to speak again. Dismissal doesn’t just end one conversation, it can reinforce silence for years to come.

These aren’t hypothetical fears. They’re the silent questions many women ask themselves before deciding whether to speak. And until we understand and address those fears, we cannot expect women to simply “open up.” Psychological safety isn’t created by encouraging women to speak more loudly; it’s created by building workplaces where they no longer have to question whether it’s safe to speak at all.

When menopause doesn’t follow the expected path

For women experiencing early, premature, medically induced or otherwise atypical menopause, the silence can feel even heavier. Their experiences often fall outside the narratives, statistics and assumptions that shape public understanding of menopause. Many are told - explicitly or implicitly - that they’re “too young” to be menopausal, leaving them questioning not only whether they’ll be believed, but whether they belong in the conversation at all. When your experience doesn’t fit other people’s expectations, finding the words can become even harder.

The cost of that silence can be profound.

Silence allows shame to grow.

Silence feeds isolation.

Silence delays support.

Silence can damage relationships.

Silence can lead women to withdraw from opportunities, question their abilities and lose confidence in themselves.

For some women, particularly those experiencing severe psychological symptoms, that silence can become life-threatening. Emerging evidence suggests that, for a small but important group of women, the menopause transition may be associated with profound psychological distress, including suicidal thoughts or behaviours. This is not the experience of every woman, nor should it be assumed to be. But when these experiences do occur, silence can delay recognition, compassionate support and timely intervention, intensifying an already overwhelming burden.

Support begins with safety

This isn’t just a women’s issue.

It’s a workplace issue.

It’s a leadership issue.

It’s a family issue.

It’s a societal issue.

Creating psychologically safe environments means creating spaces where women don’t have to decide between protecting their wellbeing and protecting their reputation. It means managers responding with curiosity instead of assumptions. It means colleagues listening without minimising. It means partners recognising that what they are witnessing may not be a personality change, but someone navigating one of the most significant biological transitions of their life.

And it means moving beyond awareness alone. Because although awareness is important, without psychological safety, it still leaves women carrying their struggles in silence.

As I continue my research into developing the Getting It Right for Every Woman framework, I keep coming back to one question:

What if the greatest barrier to support isn’t the absence of policies, but the absence of psychological safety?

If we want women to ask for help, we first have to create environments where asking feels safe. Because sometimes, the most dangerous part of menopause isn’t what a woman is experiencing, it’s believing she has to experience it alone.

If this article has resonated with you - whether you are in the midst of this transition yourself or beginning to wonder if that might be where you are - I would love to connect. I work with women to navigate the emotional, psychological, and identity shifts that can accompany perimenopause and early menopause, and I support organisations to build more informed, compassionate, and menopause-ready workplaces.

You can find out more at jorennie.com, or book a free discovery call.